Bites and bumps

Vietnam has been eventful – many of the events involving pain and panic. Less than 24 hours after crossing the border, a spiteful yellow dog sank its teeth into Joe’s ankle for no obvious reason. It was early, it was hot, no one in Than Hoa spoke English – as we scrambled around looking for a doctor, I watched Joe closely for signs of madness or foaming at the mouth. Luckily we found someone willing to give him the first of many rabies injections, and made our way to Hanoi.

Hanoi! Hanoi is great. It’s a giant beehive buzzing with scooters, as flighty young Vietnamese people zoom around in cute, shiny helmets looking for fun. The French definitely left their mark here, with stately buildings framing lakes, wide boulevards and cake shops. The old quarter, as always, is the best bit, the crumbly East End of Hanoi, a maze of streets crammed with food stalls, shoe shops, hawkers and alluring little boutiques and restaurants.

Once settled we met up with Ian, a Hanoi-residing friend we met in Thailand. Ian and his friends introduced us to the pleasures of Bia Hoi – perching on miniscule plastic stools on a busy corner in the heart of the old quarter drinking cold, weak lager for about 15p a glass, talking to randoms and avoiding chancers with a superglue stick and a radar for your broken sandals.

Have I complained about the heat in Asia much yet? Hanoi is ridiculous. With humidity hovering around 60% a ten minute walk feels like doing aerobics in a sauna. It feels like someone wrapped the world in a sleeping bag and left it in the desert. Not pleasant. That’s why, after trudging through Ho Chi Min’s mausoleum to eyeball his waxy corpse in the swelter – we decided to spend the afternoon at Hanoi Water Park. It was a bad idea from the start: hard house blaring, children running around screaming. But we decided to chill in the swimming pool after one go on the slide.

For some reason I decided to do this head-first, gripping the solid handles of my mat. At the end, I plunged face-first into the pool and the handle smacked me in the face, almost breaking my nose and making blood gush out of my face. I’ve just about recovered, but won’t be trying that again.